Young Spirit // Deniz EskiIzmirliler

DenizDeniz shares her honest thoughts about conformation, shoes and her search for peace.

Do you have any interests?
I have “groups” of various interests, mainly consisting of physical movements, as climbing. When I am exercising, i feel good and at the same time it brings energy . Doing exercise also creates a certain strength within me that is both mental and psychical.Music is another interest I have, I played the violin for a long time and a bit of piano.

Lately, I have spend more time on keeping myself physically strong which has lead to that I spend less time on playing music. The reason behind it is rather hard to define. However, it could be that exercise has a more rapid result progress and it feels like music require a great amount of time and patience, which I feel to be a big investment since I have a lot things going on in my life that I would like to give time to.

You have some interesting “obsessions” in life, could you tell more about them?
(Laughter) Indeed, I do.
Coffee & Shoes.

Deniz ShoesDeniz coffee2

I have no idea why I love shoes so much. Though, it could be that I often search for a shoe that could give me comfort and quality, which is a hard task and therefore I also appropriate a good shoe more.

The aesthetics behind shoes fascinates me, I often see people and their shoes. Through a persons shoes I think it signals a person´s self-care. If I see that people have spend time to choose a good shoe, it mirrors their effort to take care of themselves. This theory might not hold depending on situation. But shoes in general, is interesting. I must have been a Italian shoe maker in my past life. (laughter)

You are now a work- out- instructor, what impact has this position done on you?
The thing is that I like to stand on the stage and I like to exercise, so being a instructor provides me with both comforts. It provides me a combination of two worlds that I like. To stand on the stage and sort of being in the center, a feeling I honestly like. I cannot trace this crave of being seen.

At the same time being an instructor involves no risk, you know what you will deliver and so those the ones coming to your work-out.It also brings me happiness when I know that I can make people feel satisfied and give me confirmation.

“Confirmation is the probably the keyword here. The question is, do I need confirmation because I cannot give it to myself or is it because I just like it?”

These kind of questions is what I try to question myself. Why do I do something in a certain why, and why do I like to do things?

DSC01533 DSC01532

When do you feel rejected and without conformation?

“I can feel this feeling quiet often.”

However, I did not sense it during my time at high school but it evolved gradually when I began with my studies at university. A place where I had to determine more by my own and be more independent, it is a higher degree of responsibility on your shoulders because you determine the course of life in more detail.

This feeling occur when I do not receive the attention I would like to have. When I consider myself lacking, that I find things I could have done better which would given me more more attention and conformation. Following questions occur in my mind: Maybe I did not talk so much with my friends on the school lunch as I needed in order to get attention? 

“It can be quiet hard to experience this Feeling of not being Confirmed.”

I have missed the chance of bonding with people for the very first beginning due to various reasons, like the relationship I had at that time. I needed to spend time with a certain person when I actually could have been with others. This problem of searching for confirmation also causes me to feel insecure and therefore decided to not participate with other people and instead went home.

As time go, you push more pressure on yourself for not delivering enough and not receive the attention you need. At the same time, this school term feels relatively good. I no longer have responsibility of two persons, but just myself. Now I can focus on myself and try to bond with people that I might like.


“It is an OPPORTUNITY to learn myself to consider it okay to be alone  and cease to search for confirmation.”

So now is a good time for me to work on myself and reflect my thoughts and actions.

Are you more self-conscious? 
It could be possible. I feel more forced to find self-conscious than I used to. At this point I am more vulnerable than I used to. But at the same time, everything going on in my life now cause me to reflect my actions and thoughts. I used to live in an illusion where I did not question my aims. I did not question myself; Is this really what I want? Why do i want to achieve these goals? 

Living in that illusion was easy and comfortable, and I could sometimes consider myself more happy then. At the same time, this phase I am passing through now is highly necessary, because it will occur no matter what.

“A hard but necessary phase.”

AND I hope this process where I question my surrounding, my choices, my desires and myself, will in the end provide me with a more peaceful state of mind.

Furthermore, how and what I see as serene is a question itself.  Though, when thinking about it now, it could be when I do not compare myself with others. It is a big step. Also it is when I am happy with what I do and give myself positive feedback.

“Sereneness does not mean that you do not readjust and it does not mean that everything is good. It is about still being happy even when there might be some complications in life. “

To be able to accept it and then also evolve and stay calm. And when a person compares themselves with others also signals that that person feels to not being good enough. In other words, I sereneness is when I feel good enough about myself that i stop comparing myself with others.


When do you feel the strongest?
When I get attention. And this is the problem! I feel the strongest when other people think that I am good and I do not like these things to be correlated. I would like to feel the strongest when i am alone and when I give myself good feedback.

At this current time, I am the strongest when i am working as a work-out-instructor and when I make people laugh and not the other way around.

You also need a certain strength to see the truth and confront it, just like you did now. 

But when do you feel the weakest? 
It is when I am alone or when I draw myself back from people, that is when I avoid people that I feel will not give me conformation and when I consider myself unworthy.
It is the hardest at evenings, when the days comes to an end. I will think about what I could have don better and the most frustrating is that as the evening comes I am not able to change it.

 How will you stop this?
Focus less on school and my attempts to constantly be at my best condition. I need to stop thinking that it will provide me happiness and peace. It is a bad way to find peace. My goals have often been about constantly delivering my best and always optimizing everything. So I have identified things that I would not like to do and which way to avoid. The right way has nothing to do with being the best at school and graduate as a doctor. However, I have not found the solution.

“It could be that I need to listen to myself and not live according to other people´s hopes and expectations on me. To be the one I am. “


Do you have any dreams?
I used dream about being a doctor and now when I am medical school I realize it might not be the thing that I am searching for.

“My dream to find peace.”

I do have smaller dreams but I have also realized that it is all just temporary and it will not give me happiness. I dream to find the things in life that give me a peaceful mind.

Do you have any expectations on the world?
More understanding. More acceptance. More understanding for each other and that we might not want the same things in life. Understanding that there is different ways of finding a peaceful and satisfied mind. And that life is not just about material possessions and achievements. I expect people to be more open and people that choose to have a simple life is as equal as any business owner, doctor or whatever. But I expect this things on myself too.


Any last words,

“Stop comparing yourself with others. It is a big mistake that many people do.”

They compare and some feel better and some worse. None of this will give you peace and happiness in life. There is no point in comparing yourself with others. Firstly, everyone is unique. Secondly, people might seem to be happy but the truth could be that they are not. People are never what they seem to be like. You might compare yourself to a fake image of someone. Society is about always portraying your best sides and the accepted and included in a group. Compete with your best sides, push each other down and reach the peak of a fake world. Stop comparing and find what you feel is meaningful.



Young Spirit // Deniz EskiIzmirliler

Young Spirit // Lingyi Lu


The moth is October and a new young spirit, Lingyi Lu, who will tell us about the importance of following your dreams and how she hopes to contribute to society.

Do you have any interests? 
Yes, I like music and playing badminton. I began to play the piano when I was four years old. At the first my parents pushed me into playing the piano but then in 6th grade my other friends began to appreciate the instrument and I too started to like the piano more.

Lingyi ChinaLL hong kong 

You have been an intern in China this summer, how did that feel? 
It was quiet interesting  and different but most of all it was instructive since you experience a new environment. Previously I had an internship at a Swedish bank and it is hard to compare Sweden with China on a work level. The companies in China are more specific and coherent when it comes to their guidelines/rules and their expectations on the employer and how each individual employer can reach the aims. Regular control is another thing that distinguish China from Sweden. Swedish companies tend to address the workers with a supervisor and when problem arise you are expected to tell your supervisor or present it in the meetings. In contrast, in China you are taught to approach the head manager and ask for advice and feedback.

Lingyi England

This fall you are also moving to England.
It is going to be fun and I am pretty excited about it especially when I am studying subjects that I prefer, behavioral economics and other subject on a broader international level. Above that it will be fun to learn about a new culture and enhance my English.  When I come back I most defiantly hope to achieve a personal development as well, and that I have reached an increased cultural knowledge about England. Let us not forget about the education, I hope I learn a lot. (laughter) Other than that, meeting new inspiring people is something I look forward to. My first weeks on collage will be a chaos with lots of activities and social gatherings.

lingyi family

This is also the first time I am away from my family for such long period of time, usually I visit my parents once in a month and now I will be away for six months straight!

“It is a big step but a necessary one.”

My parents are quiet protecting and I would like stand on my own feet, and step in to the more adult side of life which means higher responsibility and freedom.

How do you see the adult side of life?
I see responsibility, which I have experienced when moving away from my family a  year ago to a different city.

“More freedom means more responsibility. “

To be able to follow your own heart and the things you see as meaningful.


What is your goal in life the coming three years?
First of all, I would like complete my education and I would like to have a stable foundation. I have different plans that continue to change but one thing is certain I want do something that is meaningful for me, which is to help other people and contribute to the society.

Many people note that education does not give so much in order to enhance your knowledge but is a way to determine your ambition and effort. Often work is not any like the theory we learn about in school. I hope that the company that I decide to join has the same values and aims as I have, which is to help people and not only concern about the profit. I also know that it might be a bit naive have such high expectations on a company therefore I plan to work voluntarily as an side project. Education is going to help me to provide the help I would like to give.

Lingyi strong

When are you the strongest?
I am the strongest when I am surrounded by people that I love but also

“…when I dare to step outside my comfort zone.”

I have been trying to gradually to step outside my comfort zone and one of the things was to get my own place, and eventually moving to a new country.

Conversely, when you are the the weakest? 
When I get uncertain about what I want in life and its purpose. I have always been purposeful and when I can not see the aim I can feel a bit lost.

“However, I know that I want to do something meaningful and I believe I will find my passion.”

Have you ever thought about the meaning of life?
I believe it is a quiet personal thing and I can not speak for everyone. In my view I think the purpose in life is to contribute with something for the human kind and feel like you are doing something meaningful.

Describe life with one word.

[Noting in life is free and if you really want it and fight for it, you will achieve it.]

Lingyi in teen years.
I hope I will not be too old. Hopefully have a well balanced life and that my education have been meaningful. Last but not least, I hope to have develop and evaluated when it comes to things in my personal life.

 Which methods do you plan to contribute to society?
I have had different potential ideas or strategies, both big and small dreams depending on how strong I felt that moment. (laughter) Education is one way since children are the future society. Then I would contribute by being a teacher. At the same time, my parents are teachers as well and I feel that I am limiting myself if I choose the same path as them.

A more bigger dream would be that I am working for an international organization and be able to affect more in general. For an instance, fight for children´s rights.

Many young people have it hard to have dreams and aims in life, do you have any advice? 
I sometimes have the same problem and I use to look back in life and the achievement I have done, I believe the clues are there. I once heard an UN speaker say that a person will eventually find their core. I read the term ‘core’ as the passion one has in life and the thing you want to continue doing the rest of your life.

“I think that you can find the clues in your past that point out what really means a lot for you.”

Though,  there could be a chance that you have not get come across your passion before.  However, I usually reflect back in time and try to see the things that mattered the most for me and which parts you would like to include in your future.

child LingyiLingyi close up

Do you feel you are more consciousnesses than when you were younger?
I have thought a lot about how I am as an individual and I am not yet there. Though, I think there is a link between what I think is the purpose of my life and who I believe I am. Again, I try to reflect back and think in which situation I felt genuine and myself.

During my first year at University  as a mentor where I helped children what had parents no academic education. My aim was to motivate them to  study and fight. It felt meaningful and something I would like to do more of, I was happy to see the children every week and see them develop.

Key features to help children.
I think that first thing that is essential when it comes to educating children is to provide them with good self-esteem.

“The children need to know that they can do it and never ever tell them that they can not achieve a specific goal.”

Secondly, some children need that extra push from the teacher. A teacher that tells the child that they can do it if they really try and that the teacher is there for them for guidance.

I would like the children to be able to analyze and critic more.

Do you have any expectations on the world? 
I have lots of expectations on the world, I hope that our society becomes more human and that people take upon the concept of civil courage and help each other. Also, I would like to see a more environmental and sustainable development.

Any last words.

 ” One can not always be right, it is about daring to make mistakes. Take one step at a time and you will come a long way in life. Last but not least, dare to dream.”


Young Spirit // Lingyi Lu

Young Spirit // Poya Livälven

Poya Livälven


This month´s young spirit is Poya!

Do you have any interests?
I have a lot of interests; I am quiet evolved in social and political issues. Otherwise music and scientific literature also interests me. As a student I try to engage myself in different unions.
My interest in politics began a couple of years of go and since then I have met a lot of people and I have also become more aware of social and political issues. A big part of life is not only about sitting alone and studying but you also need that social contact, learn that we all are different. envolved poyaHave you always been so engaged?
The older I become the more engaged I happen to become. The reason might be that I have always been that person that give my fullest when it comes to school, I had lot of expectations and I wanted to go out high school with good grades. Now that I got accepted in university I applied for I feel I have more freedom to explore, be more social and do more of those stuff that I like. The education field that I have now chosen is a long one and if I only study it would not be that fun even though I might learn a lot.

“It is for my own sake so that I can create a balance between my studies and social life.”

piano poya

You also play a lot of instruments.
Piano is my main instrument but I also play a lot of other instruments like the guitar and I also sing. It is more of a hobby and defiantly something that contribute to the balance I aim to achieve.
I love music and I listen to it daily, I use it to express my feelings, it is a exercise where I can use my creativity. And that is good because if you only read scientific literature, you do not use your own creativity. I began to play piano when I was about eight years ago and I was more serious about music than what I am now because I also need to gibe time to my studies. Music is more of a hobby thing now.

What is your aim in life?

“My biggest aim in life is to become a good human being.”

I do not want to make history only for the reason to become famous, it would be fun but it is not my main focus. The reason that I chose to study medical was for the reason to help and change the small but important around me.

My interest to become a doctor has always been there since I was small, I have always liked the scientific but also to help people, and it is a combo that the medical field can provide for me. You are able to see people through different perspectives, through a social, chemical, biological and psychological view.

But of course the surrounding do have an impact, it is highly seen career and my parents have always encouraged me, not that they have pushed me but recommended that the role as a doctor would suit me. It is also that my families have had a lot of sick family members, my grandfather died due to a disease. My grandmother has diabetes. The issue about unfortunate health has always been there.

“Being surrounded by sick people and seeing how it affect the people around thee, I feel it would be fantastic to help by reducing the suffering and stress.”

Otherwise, I have a great interest to travel and as a doctor getting a job abroad is not hard, you have the guarantee of a good life. Not many people have the probability to get a job anywhere in the world. I would like to travel around the world, visit small villages and help the people there.

doctor poya

Was medical school what you expected it to be?
Yes and no. At first you believe that a doctor is like a super human, I you expect that they differ compared to other people.

“They are heroes but now I realize that doctors are like any body else, they have shortcomings, and they can be idiots or kind persons. Doctors can be insecure as any other working person.”

As a study field, it is fun but challenging. I have more of a realistic view on how doctors are now than before. It makes it more beautiful because you see that they are just ordinary people that decided to spend their time and energy on helping others.

purpose poya

What is your attitude towards life?
My attitude towards life is that you should live a honest life towards yourself. They have done a study when they ask people before they die what they regret the most, and a majority of the patients at a hospital answered that…

“… they regret living a life that they did not chose themselves but followed other people’s expectations and demands, that they never took the  decisions according to their opinion but based on other people´s opinions.”

This have turned out to affect me quite a lot lately, I try to eliminate everything that is destructive to the human kind politically, economically and so on. It is important to life an honest life, that you take decisions you want to proceed but that does not mean that you can be egoistic and hurt other people but you should not sacrifice yourself. In the end, the only person you will live with is no one else than yourself, friends come and go, and so does relations. It is a natural progress and one should not take life way too serious.

It is not always easy to live a honest way of life, personally I evolve myself quiet a lot when it comes to relationships and friends, I often sacrifice myself, and that exposes me to a great amount of disappointment when I do not receive the dedication back.

“However, it is stupid to have such high expectations on people, so lately I have stopped to have too high expectations on people.”

I have my values that I try to follow, it is not easy and I do not always succeed.

 When do you feel the strongest?
I feel the strongest when I do something I like or something that I am good at, when I gain confidence. It could involve my education, music or any other interest.

 In contrast, when you do feel the weakest?
As earlier mentioned, when friends and people disappoint me, I become low and moody. I am in need of having control and I have it hard to let go of things but lately I realize it is something you need to learn.

 Do you have any expectations on the world?
I have zero expectations on the world. People have no food or shelter, there are people living in horrible situations. My ideals and my expectations on the world are two different things.
As the world is now, based on a wrong economic principal where the resources are divided unfairly and where it is all about the survival of the fittest. We destroy the environment and the humans due to the fact that we strive for profits and we have a lot of greed. So I have no expectations whatsoever.

“The ideal would be that we use science to develop eco-friendly system, where everyone can live the life they want, do the things they care and love to do but also enjoy this world.”

This system is not created because people earn money on how this world looks today.


When is Poya satisfied?
When my companions can enjoy something I did and when I have helped someone. Or when I do something I love.
A perfect day would be spontaneous, eat well and just enjoy, taking day for day.

Traveling plays a vital role in your life.
Yes, it does because I have never learned as much as I have when traveling. A book in geography can tell you a lot but it is not until you stand there yourself and fully understand the people, the language and the cultural that you have seen that country.  One can really learn a lot from each other.

Have you ever thought about the purpose of life?
Of course, I have and I think it is a question that a lot of people have questioned. To be honest, I really do not think there is a great purpose life; I think it is as it is. We will never get the answer.
We need to take control of our own lives and not place it in someone else life, not politically or to a supernatural power. The purpose of life is a something one need to discover by your own.

“Like earlier mentioned my meaning of life is to be the best I can be by living an honest life.”

Describe life with one world.

We both love and hate each other. We try to help and at the same time destroy. It is a paradox. 

 Latest song.
Bohemian rhapsody- Queen.

Dinner or lunch
Fall or Spring
Movie or Book


Any last words to the people.
We live in a world that is quiet similar to the animal kingdom, where the smallest sign of weakness makes you vulnerable. It is all a competition about who is the best, the most attractive, the strongest and so on. We need understand that it does not need to be like that, we can create a world with a different state of mind. Our society is based on that the world has limited resources and that is the reason we compete with each other.

“You need to view the world with a critical eye, question everything. We should help each other and not take life too serious.”

Young Spirit // Poya Livälven

Find the Balance.


photo (5)

Time over time we expect the world to fulfill our expectations. We either think that every person is bad so we hide away from the world. Or we think that every person cares for our good and end up hurt when  the opposite is reveled. The key is to keep a balance, never expect people to be something but let them proof themselves what they stand for and let their actions display their minds.  If your relationship do not go in symbiosis, try again if you really need to but otherwise accept it and let it go. We spend to much time trying to fix people and up losing ourselves. Surround yourself with good energy people, that´s all.

Image: Instagram Account ,  surfshotnoosa. 
Find the Balance.

Young Spirits

Young Spirits


A new young spirit is coming up soon.

Each month there will be an interview with a young individual about their dreams, hopes and expectations. The aim is to show that each spirit is unique in its own way but we all have ups and downs in life. Hopefully, one will find inspiration through these stories and have the courage to share their own.

There is so much we can learn from each other.

Meanwhile, you can always read about previous young spirits.

Young Spirits

Indestructible – No expectations



Most of the cases where you end up hurt is when your expectations fail. A tiny bit of your heart break and the ground seems to fade. You fall on the rock hard ground.

There is a way to avoid this pain. Have no expectations on others, on yourself and on situations. Do not expect someone to hold their promise, you will not get hurt if they break it. Though you  should still give them a chance to prove it. Do not expect your performance to be on a certain level but do your best. And do definitely not have expectations on situations, your planing may fail and your crushed heart will just make the situation worse.

With no expectations you become indestructible, nothing will shake you or break you. If the result is not the best you will see the fall as bungee -jumping. You will fall, by your own will, but not hit the ground. A good result without expectations is even sweeter, you will fly of joy, higher than your own believed limits.
The outcome is the same, the ground fades away but you handle the situation differently. You spare yourself from over-thinking , worry and future agony.

“Whatever you do, whatever others do, whatever life does, do not have expectations, you will end up just fine, no matter what.”

Indestructible – No expectations

Young Spirit // Sara Al-Amirri


Sara Al-Amirri lives in Stockholm Sweden with her family, and she is not just any person. She is my closest friend, partner in crime and “person”. Even though we might not have a blood relationship we are closer than sisters, we are soul-sisters.

Tell me about your mornings? What kind of person are you in the morning? Earlier you told me something about shutting the world outside.
Yes, I am not much of a morning person.

Do you know why it is so?
No, I do not really know.
(Sara looks over the platform with a thoughtful look. As she grasps her thoughts she begins to explain, focusing back at me to reply further.)
Mornings are usually stressful. Like on the weekends, when I wake up peacefully and the sun shines through the window, it is a completely different thing. But the mornings when you are waking up and you are suppose to go to work…
…I think about all the things I need to do, I need to change clothes, eat my breakfast and there is so much I have to do before I can leave for work. The mornings determines the rest of the day but that does not need to be true.

“God, what I feel that I can be honest and truthful.”

That sounds wonderful.
Yes it is pretty awesome feeling.
(We continue back to our previous topic.)
Yes, if you are late it determines the outcome of the rest of the day. If you have a good morning, then it feels that the rest of the day will be fine.

Have it always been like that?
It think so, unfortunately. I wish that I could be more of a morning person. However, this week I woke up early because I wanted to, not because I have to.

Earlier we talked about when you feel the strongest, can you tell me more about it?
That is when I realize that I cannot control everything. Humans often desire to control everything but to know that you are not actually capable to do so. This is what I think. So I feel the strongest when I do not feel like I need to control everything.

When did you discover this strength?
Now, when you have realized that life has its ups and downs. Or you say that life goes up and down but I think I have been spoiled a big part of my life.

In what way?
There have been many ups and many downs but I have not truly thought about the downs. When life goes down, you end up feeling sorry for yourself. Now I can say that I am thankful for the downs too.

When do you experience your lowest and weakest point?
This might also be the same thing as my strength, that I cannot control everything. And then I think about how weak I am.

“Is your strength also your weakness?”

I think so, I think so absolutely.
(Sara nodes her head determinedly.)

Honey Boo Boo Child

Are you disappointed with the world? Is the world the same as when you were a child?
I am not disappointed with the world but rather the people. As a child you are naive and you have not experienced so much. You think so well about people, it is not like I go around and think bad of people, it is just that you see people differently. This might be that you as person also have your own good and bad sides. Some people have more or less of each characteristics. This is why I am disappointed on people, that they are not as caring as one might think.

Have you discovered something new about the world?
This might sound like a cliche but I think it is love. It has always been there, I have experienced. In older days when you are all grown up and see the world dissimilar to before. You see love in other people too. It is such a strong emotion, and it might also be love towards other things than people. And I would not be wrong to feel more of this feeling but on the other hand it is scary that it can over you completely. You cannot really control it.



How does your dreams look like?
To be frank, I do not dare to have to big dreams. Of course, you should have dreams and it is not wrong. As a person I am not the optimistic kind. It might be because people, expectations on yourself and others. I have learned not to have expectations and then it will turn out to be the best. Dreams are another word for expectations. You do dream about happiness and that everything goes good but you are have the nature to be realistic. That it might go badly sometimes.


Any role models in your life that inspire you?
I see her as a strong women but then there is also other people that have been through so much, been through a “harder situation” that is inspiring but I cannot say that much about her to say she have not been through something hard. Beyoncé´s ability to stay humble and down to earth even though she is famous inspires me. A person would always want to see themselves as down to earth and I would defiantly want more of that characteristic.

Describe life with one word.
Fantastic! (Sara says this without giving it a thought, she reply on my question before I complete my question.)
I become so touched as we talk! Life is fantastic!

“Life has it downs but eventually it will go alright, and that is fantastic.”

Tell me more about Sara teen years from now.
Hopefully happy and more secure and confident about myself.


I have heard about your dream about Toscana. Would you tell me more about it?
A beautiful house surrounded by fields. The house should be natural and simple, not luxurious at all. The floor and walls can be uneven. A house with lots of love in it. Love is family and friends. I see myself in different periods of life in that house.

Breakfast – Dinner
Spring – Fall
Friends – Alone
Book- Movie
I prefer movies but I love to learn to read more.

Latest song you heard?
A song we heard today. Money on my mind by Sam Smith.

Describe your time before and after this talk.
I was with a couple of really fantastic friends down town, we went on a walk and visited a cafeteria. And after this interview I will eat, clean my room and prepare myself for the week.

What would you like to improve about yourself?
There is lots of things, but if I have to choose one thing, it is to become less of a perfectionist.

Last words
To you I would like to say thanks and to people reading this;

“Laugh more!”

Young Spirit // Sara Al-Amirri